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[sketchycharacter]

"This is Nate. Leave a message and I'll probably get back to you."

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[tearsinajar]

Who knows when that's going to be. I don't even want to think about my leg hair.

[ A small shudder. Not just leg hair but all the hair. ]

But if this dry spell goes into three months, I can't be blamed for jumping you.

[ Sitting next to him on the log she gets her pacdisk and hands it to him on a smile. ]

Among the junk we've brought along, you should find the black bag in there somewhere. It has the toiletries.

[sketchycharacter]

It would never get to three months. I'd jump you first.

[They have a bed in the pacdisk. A Stark Fuckbed™ at that. If it comes down to it, they'll get it out of storage and go to town. If people stick around to watch, that'll be their choice.]

Is this seriously about grooming me?

[tearsinajar]

Two and a half. Sounds like a good deal to me.

[ That Fuckbed. The poor thing not getting any good use right now. ]

Someone has to. Just a trim, I won't take everything off.

[sketchycharacter]

[Yet. Yet.]

As long as you promise not to cut me, I'm all yours then.

[tearsinajar]

If I leave any cuts, don't worry, I have a small tub of Vaseline. You'll be fine.

[ She holds her hand out for the toiletries she's waiting on him to find in the pacdisk. ]

Besides, you've suffered worse things than a shaving cut or two.

[sketchycharacter]

That doesn't mean it's suddenly okay to have shaving cuts. Those things sting.

[Especially if they were to come from somebody he gets vulnerable with! But he trusts her.]

You really threw everything in the pacdisk, huh?

[tearsinajar]

Goodness, you talk like I've never shaved a thing in my life.

[ She gives him a look and drops said look down to her lap and legs. ]

Of course. That's the point of it. You're the one who put the bed in there.

[sketchycharacter]

Your legs and my face are different things, don't act like it's the same.

[She's had practice with her own legs. (And he's just ignoring the, uh, other allusion.)]

The bed was important. I was prioritizing. I didn't know vaseline rated.

[tearsinajar]

They're still skin and they're both still prone to cuts. They're the same.

[ Elena leans forward for the bag, setting things up with her one hand. They have some hours to kill, there isn't any rush. ]

There should be a bottle of water in there somewhere... [ A gesture. ] How is the bed important? We can't even use it right now.

Vaseline rates because it's useful medically wise.

[sketchycharacter]

[They're nooooot the same. Nate just sits there and lets her do what she's gonna do, because clearly this is her show.

Up to the point at which she indicates he should get the bottle of water, at which point he does so obediently. What, he's being helpful. He's not whipped.]

We could use the bed, at least for its nominally intended purpose [they both know the real reason Tony made it] but that'd be rude to the people who didn't think to shove a bed in their pacdisks.

Anyway, we'll use it when the time is right. Therefore: important.

[tearsinajar]

[ He's totally not whipped. He's just being helpful because she only has use of one hand. ]

That bed was a gift. It would've been rude and insensitive of us to leave it behind.

[ Elena laughs out loud and reaches for the can of shaving cream. Sorry but his face is going to smell a little like jasmine. ]

By the time you end up jumping me, which is supposedly in less than another month and a half— just know that I'll be counting— we won't even have time to pull out the bed.

[sketchycharacter]

[Snort. Sure, that's why they took it. Sure.]

A month and a half, max. It depends entirely on opportunities for privacy and how fast you heal.

[Don't tell anyone, but he likes the smell of jasmine.]

And I'm not above finding a nice rock to go behind.

[tearsinajar]

Just do it old school and push me against a tree. Screw me standing.

[ The words slip out so easily that she pauses and looks at him. Obviously it's hard going from having no contact for over a year to having contact everyday and suddenly they're right back to no contact.

Elena brushes it off with a laughing apology and maneuvers the can so she can squeeze the gel out onto her fingers, can between her knees and thumb pressing the pump.

She must be distracted; she likes the bearded look, she doesn't want to completely shave it off, but she's already got the gel going from pale blue to foam the longer it sits out. ]

Do you want a full shave or just a trim?

[sketchycharacter]

[He makes a note of the request. They've never done it against a tree before that he can recall; standing, sure, but not arboreal boning. Something for the list.]

Trim, for now. We don't know how long it'll be until we can get new razors and if we dull the ones we have now without replacements, I'll have to go full mountain man.

[tearsinajar]

It's bad enough already that you look like you're in your 40s with all that gray coming in.

[ This wife really enjoyed trolling her husband. It was meant to be. But trim it is, which means Elena has to unfortunately swipe the gel off her hand. She kicks some dirt over it and wipes her hand on her pants.

The razor gets replaced with a pair of trimming scissors and a comb.

Thank god for that vacation planet trip. She'd mostly bought it for herself and cutting her own hair while they'd been on the ship. It was coming in handy now, months later. ]

[sketchycharacter]

Wow, that's rude. You're rude. I've got a few gray hairs.

[And he's only thirty-four! Sheesh. What a mean wife he has.

He stays where he is, though, because mean wife or not, she's the only one here willing to groom him. And also because he loves her and stuff.]

You're just smug because the gray isn't going to show up as much in blonde when it comes for you.

[tearsinajar]

More like a dozen. I count when you're asleep.

[ First she'll run the comb through his beard, amused by the thickness and how much it's grown. She's so used to him keeping a shadow, something to tickle her with. In all the right places. ]

Who says it hasn't already? Doesn't matter that I'm twenty-nine.

[ He's put her through a lot. That and her job. ]

[sketchycharacter]

[He rolls his eyes, but hell, he likes the idea of her paying him that much attention when he's asleep.]

In that case, maybe I'll go searching the next time you fall asleep.

[One more excuse to bury his face against her head.]

[tearsinajar]

Good luck with that. My hair is like neapolitan ice cream.

[ Still combing. But now it's with her fingers, scratching gently along his jaw. ]

[sketchycharacter]

Your hair is nothing like a delicious frozen treat. I should know, I've woken up with it in my mouth enough times.

[Because he insists on cuddling close. He deserves no sympathy.]

I think you have no intention of shaving me. You just want to run your fingers through my beautiful face hair.

[tearsinajar]

That's on you, Mr. Drake. You're the one always burying your face in my hair. Is it because you're jealous it's so long and you can't grow yours as well as I can?

[ It totally is. ]

Gee, that sounds familiar. But look at it! Give it another few weeks and I can probably get a good grip on it.

[ Pull his head down to wherever she wants him to kiss her. ]

[sketchycharacter]

I've had the same haircut for like a decade. I'm satisfied with what I got.

[Or out of style? No, that can't be it.]

Now you're making it sound like you don't want to shave me.

[tearsinajar]

Just grow out the front a little more and we can style it into a duck-ass, complete 2000s era.

[ Please no, don't. ]

Is that so bad? I mean the stache we'll have to trim, I'm tired of sucking on hair when I kiss you.

[sketchycharacter]

A duck ass. Jesus Christ.

[He fell in love with a weird, weird woman.]

Do whatever what to my hair, just not the hair on my head.

[tearsinajar]

It'll be like wearing Donald Duck's ass, but on your head.

[ He did, and she's there beaming at him, look at the smile from the Bright One. ]

Just a trim, Nate.