sketchycharacter

What? It's a legit thing. Guys get their nails buffed and their cuticles treated a lot! You could gain a thing or two from visiting there, I've seen how bad your hangnails get Nate.

i'd just scuff them up again

Fine. Anyway. The point of this was because I stopped by there the other day and it's kind of scary looking in the mirror now.

why did they give you one of those mud masks and forget to take it off?

Uh not exactly. It came off just fine. And I'd say about ten years with it.

haha i bet. they must do good work there

I'm being serious. And stop laughing. I can hear you.

[ Not really, but still. ]

bullshit you cannot

ok show me a picture then

I'm kind of scared to, no word of a lie.

Like. It's like you robbed a cradle, Nate. You're a cradle robber. Add it to your resume.

are you only texting me because you're trying to wind me up without getting called out for making stuff up because that's what it sounds like

Woah, a little defensive on being called a cradle robber ain'tcha.

it's time to put up or shut up fisher you gotta back up your claims with proof

Fine.

[ Fine. Elena is going to put up. And by doing so, she huffs and leaves her room to go next door and bang on his door.

He probably expected a picture. Hell no. She is going to back this shit up in person— she also wants to see his reaction for herself. ]

[Nate opens the door, smiling pleasantly (and still a little amused at himself), only for his smile to drop off immediately as he registers what she looks like and takes a big step back.]

What the fuck.

[ She's got her arms folded. His reaction is perfect, leaves her looking and feeling a little smug. That doesn't make it any less unsettling. ]

See?

[ Elena points with both hands to her new face. Her fresh face. A nineteen year old Elena Fisher. ]

And you thought I was pulling your leg. You're a cradle robber. Now guess my age.

[He's still gaping. Give him a minute. His wife still has a woman's body, but she looks like a teenager, all fresh-faced an innocent. It's both attractive and a little unsettling.]

I don't know, eighteen, nineteen?

[He takes a step forward, peering at her.]

Is this permanent?

You were right on the last guess.

[ She tips her face up and then from side to side, angles it to let him see it all. ]

I don't think so. Nothing is ever permanent when it comes to these things.

Pretty crazy, though, right? I didn't think they were serious in their advertisement.

[It's honestly eerie. Not that Elena looks incredibly old at twenty-nine, but there's enough of a difference that he's captivated now.]

Man. I bet actors back home would pay a fortune for that. But I gotta say, it's making me feel like a dirty old man.

[ Her life right now every time she passes by the mirror. Eerie as ever. ]

Well, as long as I'm not expected to call you anything else other than your name, I think we're good.

No 'yes, Daddy's and 'please, Daddy's.

[ Greatly appreciated. ]

[Nate promptly makes a gagging noise. It may or may not be fake.]

God, don't say that! That's just—eurgh!

[They might not be having sex now, but he'd like to be able to perform eventually without having horrible flashbacks to what she just said.]

[ Her face breaks out into a big smile, laughter pouring out freely, easily. ]

What are you going to do when, one day, you have a daughter? She'll definitely end up being a daddy's little girl.

[That catches him completely off guard, and the surprise shows clearly on his face before his expression softens.]

That's a completely different context. "Daddy" is reserved for hypothetical future daughters alone, not the woman I enjoy getting cozy with.

[To put it delicately.]

Daughthers? Slow down there, cowboy.

[ She'd be good with just one kid. More than that, it's something they'd really have to discuss. Or discuss in general. ]

Hah, getting cozy with. Yeah, that's what way of putting it.

I'm speaking generally.

[He shrugs.]

Hey, I didn't want to say "have crazy monkey sex with" in the same conversation where a daughter is being discussed. Think of the children.

[Also, he's trying not to make it weird by touching on the sex they aren't having.]

You're no longer Nathan Drake, you're Helen Lovejoy.

[ Since she's in the room now it's good that she can lean back against the wall, arms crossed, body relaxed. She looks amused, don't mind her. ]

'Crazy monkey sex', huh.

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