sketchycharacter

...

Have I told you this week that your life is bullshit?

No. But when you do, I'll agree completely.

[It sucked both times.]

Okay, well, it's happening. Right now.

I was serious about that drink thing, though.

[ This is the closest to "sorry" that you're gonna get, Drake. ]

Then I agree.

[He sets the sketchbook down in his lap. It's a mostly-finished sketch of a little girl.]

Gonna be hard to have those drinks if you're not imbibing anything.

I could always be your hypeman while you drink enough for both of us.

[ He peers down at the sketchbook once it's lowered at an angle where he can see it, slightly taken aback. Okay, that's not the rock formation or tree or garden plant that he'd expected this dumb nerd to be drawing. ]

... Huh.

Nah. I'm not in the mood for drinking much myself. Plus you might draw dicks on my face after I passed out.

[He catches the reaction to his drawing and grins. There's a hint of fatherly pride in the smile.]

That's my daughter.

Your—

[ He leans forward abruptly, staring at the drawing with way more attention.

Nathan Drake procreated. Well, goddamn. ]

Holy shit.

Edited (fuck u subject lines) 2016-09-28 00:54 (UTC)

She doesn't technically exist yet—okay, that sounds really weird.

[Probably because it is.]

When people starting changing ages, Elena suddenly turned up older and told me about her. And then the other day, the Ingress spat out one of our photo albums from home that had some brand-new pictures I haven't taken...yet.

Wow. Talk about future-spoilers.

[ He's a little envious, actually. Maybe not child-envy (isn't that a fucking terrifying thought), but the idea of future information that isn't harrowing or dreadful. Nate and Elena probably among those who deserve it the most. ]

Should I congratulate you on your kid you haven't quite gotten around to conceiving yet?

Sure, why not.

[He'll take it, even if he hasn't earned the congrats yet. Not that his part in the baby-making is especially difficult.]

It is a pretty big spoiler, but I'll take it. A sign that I don't end up fucking things up irrevocably is pretty welcome.

So...

[ DRAMATIC PAUSE. What an ass. ]

Does that mean I get to say "I told you so"?

Depends. About what?

[He doesn't doubt that there's probably a legit reason Tony might say it, but he can't remember specific possibilities at the moment.]

I'm setting the scene here. Flashback: you, several months ago, rolling around forlornly on the floor of the observation deck.

"Elena will leave me forever, I'm the worst, this is the end, there's nowhere to go from here!"

The scene cuts to me, telling you you're overreacting and that's definitely not gonna happen, having foreseen your little Drake nugget with my endless wisdom and understanding of future events.

[ Listen just let him have the satisfaction of this. ]

That—

[Is accurate, honestly. Kind of. Not a great memory, but it is nice to know that his drunken fears hadn't come true.]

All right, so you can say you told me so and we're even there. But I didn't roll.

[ He looks so satisfied. It's a little obscene. ]

"Sitting straight and dignified" for somebody that drunk definitely looks like rolling to the rest of the world.

[Tuck your smugness dick back in, Tony.]

Yeah, yeah, don't enjoy it too much, your head will swell up.

Nah, I'll enjoy it all I want. I have it on good authority that my ego couldn't possibly get any bigger than it already is.

I believe in you, Tony. You're capable of anything if you put your mind to it.

[He grins and gives his sketch one more look before closing the book.]

You know, if I want to practice on this parenting thing before my kid gets here, I can do it with myself now. Have you met the tiny me on the ship?

Edited 2016-10-27 18:11 (UTC)

You mean, besides the you that ran around stealing everybody's shit?

[ NEVER FORGIVE NEVER FORGET.

But, actually - now that he mentions it... ]

Wait. [ Yes, he remembers that kid. ] ... That's actually a tiny you?

Yeah. Tinier than prison me. Teenager, kind of floppy hair? There's probably a resemblance if you look for it.

[It's a long way from 17 to 34, but not as far as the kid probably thinks.]

Hey, now that we've both got doubles, wanna tell me if there's a secret club? I want to be in with the cool kids.

Oh, what the hell.

[ Tiny Nate. An actual tiny Nate. How has the kid not stolen everything from everyone yet? ]

You seem to have confused "secret club" with "support group".

I'll take what I can get.

[Tiny Nate has not stolen everything yet because Sully has not yet taught him stealth and discretion. Although it's arguable if he ever will.]

Does your brain try to twist itself into knots when you think about another you? Because mine absolutely does.

Sorta, kinda... okay, a lot.

[ Because honestly, holy shit. ]

He's from some alternate universe where things are especially ridiculous, from what I can tell. He won't tell me anything because he spends a lot of time worried about my delicate sensibilities or some shit.

Seriously? [He snorts.] He sounds like a dick.

[In a different, worse way than Tony can be a dick.]

Mine's got the exact same life as me up to the point that he went to magic mercenary school in another dimension, apparently.

He's a tremendous dick. Finally, someone gets it.

[ He claps Nate on the shoulder. THANKS FOR EXISTING AND DRAGGING HIS ALTERNATE. ]

But are you seriously telling me mini-you got inter-dimensional kidnapped to Hogwarts before being inter-dimensional kidnapped here?

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